Awful afternoon


I was about a hundred metres down the road, when I spotted the Police car behind me. A quick look at the speedo’ showed me I was under the limit. Just! So I drove the whole road at 58 miles per hour, with the police car 20 foot behind me. Now, will he turn into the village, or is he going straight on? Nope, he’s sticking with me. Should I go along the main road, or up the hill? Main road, I think? Bloody cop is still with me. He’ll be on to Clifford, I thought as I turned into my street. Oh dear, an ambulance. I wonder who has died now. Just a minute….. it’s just moved, then stopped outside our house. There’s a police car there too. What the fuck is going on? I parked and got out of the car. The police that had been behind me was now parked outside our house too!!!! What in God’s name…..

“Alright mate?” asked the police officer that had been behind me.

“Er…..yeah. Thanks. What er……”

I went inside, and the scene that greeted me was bizarre to say the least. S**** was sat on the floor, holding onto R***. K*** was trying to explain to the two paramedics, what R*** and his Autism was about. R*** was looking very pale and shaken, and sobbing a little. The two paramedics were trying to talk to R*** to see if he was okay, but getting no response as usual. The two police officers were stood around, looking genuinely concerned but clueless (not their fault, probably never dealt with someone like R*** before).

Apparently R*** had had an ‘episode’. Not the usual, type of ‘episode’. This time the medication did not work and he had completely lost it. Both K*** and S**** were concerned for theirs and R***’s safety, and that’s why the emergency services had been called. It must be standard if there is any kind of violence that the police attend, which is why the ambulance had parked up before our house first.

The paramedics were great. They asked what we wanted to do with R***. Did we want him to go to hospital or what. Well, I thought that if he went to hospital, the first thing they would do would be to get a psych doctor, and sedate him. That would not solve anything. The paramedics stuck with us, and were there a good hour, testing his blood pressure, SATS and everything. The police were being looked after by S****, doing his ‘coffee shop’ thing.

He calmed down, enough for them to leave, but he was still very hyperactive after they had gone. It is now 23:45, and he is still up. Quite calm, but it is like living on an knife edge. We just don’t know if he is settled or if we are going to have some more.

I have to say though, I felt that the paramedics did a brilliant job. What did get me though was the paperwork they had to fill in. That took over 20 minutes to do. C’mon, give them some technology!!! I mean, in this day and age, they still have to fill in paper forms. Dear Health Secretary, if those forms were electronic, and on a Tablet PC or an iPad, then maybe less time would be spent filling in  paper!!!!

Here we go again


     Well, as the title says, "Here we go again". I’m not waiting until the new year to begin posting again.

     Things have been a bit up and down over the past few months. The youngest has had quite a lot of ‘episodes’. Well when I say episodes, I mean violent episodes. The level of his violence has increased, and we do not have a quantified reason for this. It may be just a coincidence, but his respite provision has now moved from Children’s Services to Adult Services. Which means that the respite care he has been used to for the past 10 years or so has gone, and he has to get used to a new service. Is this the reason ??? Personally, and it is my own opinion, I don’t like the new provision. It reminds me too much of the time I worked in an Old Peoples Home. It seemed to have the same atmosphere. It could just take a little more time to get used to. For all of us.

    I think that may do for now. I don’t want to over do it. Next time, we’ll talk a little about my other lad, and may be a bit about work. Then when all the catch up is done, I will start in earnest.

Long time…no post


   As the title says, it’s been a long time since my last post. The holiday went much as expected. It seemed to take us until about half-way through the week, before we realised that R*** may have not been at his best. Stupid really ! He had just had a tooth extraction, on the Thursday, and we were expecting him to be happy. Well, thinking back, he was probably still in pain. That makes me feel a bit of a sh*t really. Apart from that, it was quite a good week. The weather was very kind (makes  change) and we were out every day.

   The Saturday and Sunday were a bit noisy. It appears that it was Whitby’s year for the annual Scooter rally. Over 2,000 scooter riders, and their partners were in Whitby for the weekend. It was good to see some of the old machines, and reminded me of the one I had when I was 16. A Lambretta Li125 in light blue and white!!! Actually saw the same model while we were there, in the same colour !!!

   I have some pictures (boring landscapes I’m afraid) and I will try and upload them to a page on here. That does, however, depend on my finding a way of uploading said pictures to a separate page. Methinks a trip to the forums may be on the cards.

   We seem to be having a bit of a backlash with him at the moment. He only want to stay at home, in his room. a great many Autistics are like that. It is his space, and he can control it. He will go to school, but that has become part of his routine, so he accepts that. But holidays, and days out, upset his routine, and he reacts to this. Usually with violence. It is as if the the violence is his only way of communicating his displeasure at what we are trying to do for him. He has been out tonight, with his support worker. He apparently had a ‘hissy fit’ as Mrs H put it before he went, and has been very angry and upset since he got back. Interestingly though, his support worker (or PA as the Council likes to call him) says he was fine while he was out. D** is very keen to engage with R***, since working with him at school, and tries very hard to find things that he thinks R*** would like. However, at the end of the day, what we, or anyone do or think, matters little to R***. His Autism does not take into account our feelings.

   The expected showdown at work never materialised. I was fully prepared for pistols at dawn, but I now feel, that both parties say my point of view. At the end of the day, I am not interested in egos or personal agendas, it is the end product, the service, that matters. If that sounds a bit trite, then I’m sorry. Saying that, however, I think everyone is looking out for themselves at the moment. A lot of people, seem to be in a very precarious position. Certain jobs, could be deemed as being ‘surplus to requirement’ in the current economic situation, and the people in those jobs are trying (if they have any sense) to keep themselves safe, so to speak. I don’t have a problem with that per se, just so long as it does not impact on me.

   I think that will do for tonight. I hope I have made up for the lack of postings while I was away. It is a bit of a chore, trying to post by email from a smartphone. Teachers report : Must try harder !!!

All done …. well for six months anyway


The appraisal went much as expected. A 10 minute trip down memory lane into what my objectives were (memo: ‘I already knew’), why they were picked (memo: see previous memo) and why they were not fully met (memo: ‘we knew they wouldn’t be’). Then we moved into patronising mode, where we discussed my strengths and weaknesses . This meaningless exchange lasted a good 25 minutes. And the outcome ……… nothing has changed since last time, but ‘I’m working on my weaknesses’. I have been doing so for the past 40 years or so. Then came my objectives (or jobs that I have to do because my line-manager can’t). These were basically to continue the ones before, plus one more. Now why on earth it took another 20 minutes to complete that part, I have no idea. That is it until the six monthly review, when we will go through the same thing again.

The situation with Mrs H and the eldest, is beginning to improve. She seemed a little happier this evening. They had all been to her sisters for my Mum-in-laws birthday, and S**** had come along too. He was not well yesterday.  Apparently, he had had a pizza on Tuesday night, and was ill after it. Now I remember being his age, and experiencing the very same type of illness on a regular basis. You go out, have 16 pints of beer, followed by a curry/kebab, and it is the food that always makes you ill !!!! I don’t think she slept too well last night worrying about him. I honestly believe she thought he had swine flu’.

Youngest has just had an ‘episode’. He has been great all day, then it comes to go to bed and he kicks off. All the Autism experts say there is a trigger, but quite often it is nothing that can be indentified. The droning starts, then the violence kicks in, and it is often 20 minutes before settles down. Tonight it seems to be taking a lot longer. The violence seems to increase when you try to stop it. It is as if he needs to hurt you, and his anger will not subside until he has. But the reason for the anger is not obvious. One of the annoying things is though, that the experts always look to you as if you are the cause. We spoke to one of the ‘experts’ some time ago, someone from the Disability Team, and when Mrs H said that often the anger is directed at me, the ‘expert’ turned to me and asked me ‘why did I think he directed it at me?’ Or in other words … it must be my fault.

Last day tomorrow. Hopefully we will have a reasonable week. I hope the weather picks up again. It will be quite a miserable week if we get the rain we had last time I was off. R*** has been quite amenable this week. Let’s hope it continues (apart from the bad parts of course).

Thought I had bagged a bargain tonight. I need to but some more RAM for my PC. It has 1.5gb, but I want to get it up to the maximum 2gb (it’s a 4 year old PC.) I bought the last lot from Play.com for about £16.00. When it worked, I though I would get 1gb, but the price had rocketed to £34.00. However, when I checked the site today, there was an offer, for the same RAM as before, at £17.00. Too good to be true ??? Well yes and no. They were out of stock, and there was no indication when the new stock would come in. So I left it, but I will keep checking, as that extra 1/2gb will make a lot of difference.

That’s it. Seem to have gone on a little tonight, but it has been an interesting (and I use the word lightly) day.