care

Always “When” rather than “If” . .

/ Tony / 4 Comments

After about 2½ years of mask wearing, stepping into the road to avoid people, and hand sanitising, I finally succumbed to the virus. We had both tested negative on Friday morning (we have to do a lateral flow test [LFT] before R*** can come home for a visit) so everything looked okay. I had been feeling a little off colour since waking up but put it down to simply being a summer cold.


Saturday came, and I spent most of the either dozing in the chair or in bed. I was still thinking it was a cold and nothing else. By Sunday, I was thinking that the cold was lasting longer than it should. K*** said I should do a LFT to be on the safe side and I was beginning to think it might be a good idea. Then it showed … positive … which was not too unexpected. What was unexpected was the feeling of relief. Relief that I now knew what it was. I called K*** and let her know, before calling the boss. That’s another story, which I may put in writing when the anger dies down.

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Flash forward to today (Monday) and we are testing again as R***’s care home had said that he could go back as long as he tested negative. Well, nightmare time again, this time K*** tested positive. R***’s test was negative, so he was picked up around 11:00. It’s messed him up a little as cannot do any of his normal activities, has to be tested every day and his team have to go back to wearing the full PPE.

Then, at around 12ish we got a phone call from his care home. They are obliged to do a test when he arrives as a matter of course. Amazingly he tested positive. Could not believe it. So now, not only can he not do his normal activities, he is not allowed out of his flat until Tuesday.

It got better . . .

/ Tony / 2 Comments

On Tuesday, our youngest was due to have a dental procedure. Because of the way he could react, due to his Autism, this procedure had to take place under a general anaesthetic. He has had general’s before, so it’s not so much of a deal for him. However, COVID-19 has changed everything. My wife was taking him to the hospital, so she needed to have a C-19 swab test on Saturday. That was done in the morning. In the afternoon, she received a phone call saying that the test was ‘inconclusive’ and she have to have another on the Sunday. It’s a 25 mile round trip to the hospital, so it does take a little time out of the day. Of course after the test, she had to isolate, so was unable to work on the Sunday. Fortunately, the second test came back as negative.

Forward to Monday, and the youngest is due his swab. As he was still at his residential care home, his lead carer volunteered to take him for the test. This guy is a bit of a hero. It is nearly 50 miles from the care home, but was quite happy to take him, be with him when tested, before bringing him to us. thankfully, his test was also negative, so we were all geared up for Tuesday.

It was an early appointment, he had to be at the hospital for 9 o’clock. We got him there and my wife got him booked in. I went home to do some shopping, as it was thought he would be there all day. We found out later that the dentist only had the theatre for the morning.

At around 12 o’clock, I got a call from my wife, asking me to come and pick them up. It seems that the person who was due to go for surgery before my son, who also had some kind of special needs, was refusing to cooperate with the dental team. He should have been in theatre for around half past 9, but they just couldn’t get him to go. As the theatre was set-up for his needs, it couldn’t quickly be changed for my son, as the theatre slot was running out of time.

He has now got another appointment, but all the C-19 testing will have to be done again. Thankfully the youngest took it all in his stride. A few years ago, he would have had a complete melt-down at the plans being changed, but we were so proud of the way he reacted or didn’t react in fact.

It seems to have had no effect on him at all, and he was his usual self the following day. At the moment, his flat, at the care home is being redecorated, so he would have had to be with us for the week anyway. However, the job is going to take longer than expected, so two of his care team are taking him away to Centre-Parcs for a few days until the work is finished. He doesn’t know yet, and we are hoping that he will just accept it without any upset. We wait and see.

Difficult times for all here …

/ Tony / Leave a comment

Our youngest son R***, as you may know, is Autistic. He has a placement at a residential care centre and for the past 5 years, we have been increasing his stays there, from 1 day a fortnight to now 4 nights a week. He has gradually accepted the increase and we believe the reason was that we took it slowly. On the 23rd of March, he went off as usual. He has a Motability car and the staff at the care centre, pick him up Monday morning and return him home on Friday afternoon. Because of the issues caused by this virus, the care centre did not want their staff to bring him home, which we understood.

The plan was that K*** would take him back on Monday and she would pick him back up on Friday. It was thought that this would be the most practical solution. However, it all changed the day after. When it was announced that the country was going into almost full ‘lockdown’ with some restrictions on movement. The care centre rang and said that it would wiser to keep him there, as if he came home, he couldn’t go back until it was all over.

This caused K*** and me a fair bit of distress, but after a lot of deep thinking on the ‘pros and cons’ we decided that it would be in the interest of all, including R*** that he stayed put. It has always been the intention that he goes to live there on a full-time basis, but we wanted to build it up slowly, so we all gradually got used to it. This virus has changed everything. His care workers explained that there were problems and that he could not go home on Friday as usual. This immediately led him to ask about the next weekend, and when he gets something into his head, he will just keep repeating the question until he gets an answer. On Monday this week they changed his planner and explained that he could not go home for another two weeks. This of course led him to start asking (nattering) about going home on the 17th April.

We had said to his care workers, who know him well that it would be better coming from on how to progress this. So they took the decision yesterday to tell him that he was going to stay until the 7th of August. He appears from what they tell us, that he has more or less accepted this. He has written the dates in his diary and has got one of his care workers to add the words ‘Home’ to the weekends from the 7th August.

At the end of all this, he/we could have benefited from all this, as it might now be possible for us to create a planner for him that shows him to be away for however many days we feel necessary. It is what we want for him, and this virus has pushed us a lot further than we had pictured.

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No pictures today as I could not find any that I felt were appropriate.